If it's not a 'HELL YES', it's a NO Baby!

Have you ever seen that movie 'Yes Man' with Jim Carrey in it? You know where he's a bit of an office drip with a routine and wasn't ever really saying YES to life? He did the same thing day in and day out, he's stuck in his old negative ways so he takes himself to a self-help seminar. At the seminar he learns about unleashing the power of YES! 

So from there, he challenges himself to say yes.... to EVERYTHING.

Obviously he has himself a load of adventures and a new lease on life. When I watched the beginning of this movie I didn't relate so much. Because, well, I've also been a YES person. So much so, and as Jim Carrey discovers - there's gotta be a limit to saying yes. 

When I was in high school and university I would always say yes to social gatherings. A water slide day?! Yes! Beer Bong then to UniBar?! Yes!! Camping?! Yess!

It happened many a time that Friday night would meander around and I had three people calling me because I'd agreed (and just as quickly forgotten) that I would do X, Y , Z with three different groups of people. 

Now, I'm not writing this to boast about my popularity but more about my lack of ability to distinguish a HELL YES from a 'that could be cool.'

In fact, I wouldn't even check in with myself, I would say YES straight away. I wouldn't check a calendar to see if I had conflicting appointments and, more importantly, I wouldn't check in with MYSELF to see if this was a 100% true yes that I was going to participate in this activity WHOLE HEARTEDLY. 

In later years, this habit would show up by saying yes to certain projects with people because it SOUNDED LIKE A COOL IDEA. Had I checked in with myself, I would have heard the small voice of INTUITION (see previous post) steering me away from certain projects and certain people. 

In the end, I would disappoint myriad people as it's not possible to be in THREE PLACES AT ONCE, and because I didn't complete projects in a timely manner. 

It took me  a long time and a painful relationships to realise this fact; 

“People will respect you more for an honest and upfront no than a half-hearted yes”

 

For us sweet people pleasers, the thought of saying 'No' is heart-wrenching. We don't want to disappoint, we don't want to upset anyone, we don't want to let anyone down. So often, we'll say yes without checking in with ourselves first. We'll say yes even if we don't have time, even if we don't want to. We say yes to avoid our own personal pain and fear of SAYING NO. 

Here's the clincher - so we'll say YES and then LET THE PERSON DOWN IN THE LONG RUN. Either we show up half-heartedly (and people can FEEL THAT lack of presence and interaction), we DON'T COMPLETE PROJECTS, or we end up triple booked. 

All of these end up affecting the people we have said yes to. 

If we had have said NO in the first instance, they would have found someone else for the project, invited other friends to dinner or planned the party for a date that you could come. 

So, we are trying to avoid an immediate pain of saying NO when in the long run we create more PAIN. 

Today's lesson: 

1. Check in with yourself, ALWAYS. 

2. If this is new for you, check in for every decision of your day to get really familiar with your YES and your NO.  Watch the video if you need to learn how to decipher YES from NO.
 

3. Be bold and say NO upfront. Remember, people will actually RESPECT YOU MORE for your direct and upfront NO than if you say yes when you don't fully mean it. 

HANDY HINT; 
A tool someone once taught me if you can't decide ON THE SPOT what it is you want to do, tell the person, 'I'm not sure yet, can I get back to you?' 

Then when you get the opportunity, you can sit at home and turn inwards or pull out your pen and paper. 

Some great questions to reflect on; 

1. Why do I want to do this? Is this for myself or the other person or both? 

2. Does this align with my values & goals? 

3. Do I have the time available for this? Do I have conflicting projects

4. Do I have any fear around saying No to this person? 

Write your way home,

Katrina

 

 

What Intuition Sounds Like

Years ago, in the midst of feeling completely lost, utterly useless and down in the dumps, I went researching (it's what I do). 

Into the Google Search bar I typed; 

'How to tell the voice of fear from intuition'?

See, when you are so caught up in your head and you've let all your voices have free range for two decades - well, there's a whole lot of warring going on up in your head. 

At this confused and complicated time of my life, the voice of Intuition was not apparent to me. 

Want to know why ?

Want to know what I learned from my research? 

(and I sincerely wish I could link that very blog but I can no longer find it)

I found a beautiful blog and one sentence struck my core and remains part of my biggest message today; 

Fear is the loud voice shouting while Discernment (Intuition) is a hand on your back gently guiding you, 'this is the way.'

Intuition speaks softly, in gestures, in symbols. Intuition requires your attention, your silence in order for it to be heard. 

Intuition requires practice. Like a muscle it must be built. If you are now, like I was then, so caught up in the voices of your mind, you have trained your Rational thinking mind to be strong. You have flexed that muscle. 

Now you must learn to flex your intuition. 

How? 

1. Daily card. Pick a card in the morning (Oracle Card) - choose just one and Journal on what you think/feel it means. 

At the end of the day journal on what actually happened. 

2. Guessing games - play with fast games where you don't think too much about it first. What colour is the car that's about to come around the corner ?Who's the next person who will call you. 

3. Take yourself on an intuitive trip. Could be a 20 minute walk or a half day drive... or longer... simply go where you feel drawn. At every intersection take the turn that feels best for you. Play with this. Enjoy the process. Trust that you are heading in exactly the right direction. 

4. Trust yourself.  I know this can be hard and the best piece of advice I've ever read about this is --- don't beat yourself up if you're Intuition is wrong, if you get it wrong. Practice Self-Compassion here. 

Write your way home, 

Trin

Why Gabrielle Bernstein wrote a book on judgement

Judgement, judgement, judgement.....

I'd be lying if I said I didn't judge others and myself and so would you.

We all engage in judgemental behaviour. It's a  pain-inducing habit that reinforces our separation. Gabrielle Bernstein recently released a book, 'The Judgement Detox' because she saw what Judgement was doing not only to her but to others. 

In an interview with Lewis Howes, Gabby speaks about how judgement impacts our lives; 

// blocks your power

// blocks your connection to relationship to higher power, to intuition, capacity to attract

// impacts our relationships

// keeps us small

// keeps us stuck in a low vibe

“Judgement comes from the moment of separation.”

— Gabrielle Bernstein

Separation from who really are - the oneness, the light, the connectedness. When someone makes you feel inadequate, when someone makes you feel "less than", when you feel different, alone, better than, worse than. All of these are moments of separation that become thoughts that we keep thinking and we develop that separation by thinking over and over again. 

"The wound from this separation is something that we run from all our lives," says Bernstein. Judgement is how we run (one of the ways we run, like addiction). Avoid feeling our deep rooted feelings and we use judgement in the same way. Seemingly we feel better for a moment in time. 

We project out what we do not want to feel within and that becomes an addictive cycle. Putting it out that we want to feel it and then we unconsciously feel guilty. 

Overcoming judgment

As always, in the moment, I advise you to take three deep breaths and observe. Witness the thoughts and processes.

When you have time, ask yourself some questions, get your pen out and analyse; 

1.What or whom am I judging?

2. How does it make me feel?

3. Am i justified in that judgement?

4. Is there a situation in your past that has triggered this judgement? 

5. Is this true? 

6. Can you release this now? What will you need to do in order to release this trigger/feeling/judgement? 

7. Who do you need to forgive to let this go? 

8. What do you need to let go?

Write your way,

Katrina

Ps. For more information and full process, get your hands on Gabby's book. 

Read on for more ABUNDANCE, SUCCESS & Better SEX....

Who wouldn't want more money and better sex, right?! 

Recently I've been doing a lot of journaling/mindset work around MONEY. For me, this work involves a lot of research too. I'm in the middle of reading two books on money, I've completed two short programs (online) on money mindset, and I'm on day 2 of a 3 day Alignment with Money Masterclass.

Yep, I'm calling it in.

All the money.  

What I didn't realise, until now. Is how interrelated MONEY, RELATIONSHIPS AND SEX ARE. 

While it sounds far fetched at first, when you sit down and think about it, this concept makes a whole lot of sense:

1. MONEY IS ENERGY

2. WE ARE ENERGY

3. THE ROOT CHAKRA (ENERGETIC CENTRE IN OUR BODY) RELATES TO SEX, MONEY AND SECURITY - the same creative energy that generates our income, our homes, puts food on the table is the same that drives our sexual impulse, our erotic drive...

4. IF WE BLOCK OUR ENERGY IN ANY WAY, WE BLOCK NOT ONLY RELATIONSHIPS AND RECEIVING LOVE, WE BLOCK FINANCIAL ABUNDANCE TOO

How do we block our energy off? 

When we hold on to things. 

When we hold onto emotions, hold on to grudges, it's more than emotional. Holding onto the emotions creates tightness in the body. This tightness eventually manifests itself as dis-ease (lack of ease in the bod.y this is something Louise L. Hay wrote about in her book, You Can Heal Your Life).

So, how can we let go of our emotions, let go of grudges, let go of pain, allow our energy to flow so we can receive more abundance and better sex? 

One tool that I have come across in my research that allllll money mindset coaches spruik is FORGIVENESS.

When we forgive, we release energetic blocks. We allow what is, to be rather than railing against it. As an example; if someone does you wrong and you hold onto that hurt you are blocking your energy. You are holding on. It's like you are carrying a stone for every hurt you have endured. We all endure a lot of hurts in our lives. That's a heavy weight to carry. 

It's time to release the stones. It's time to Forgive - and not only those who have done us wrong, but, most importantly, ourselves.

But, no one ever really teaches us HOW to forgive, do they?

Forgiveness is a fluid practice. It's not a one off choice or decision.  It is a somatic experience as well as a mental one. It is a choice and also a experience of the heart. 
 

So, how do we forgive? 

Here's one way that I practice forgiveness. 

1. Write a letter to the person, in the letter include; 

a. What you are sorry for

b. What you forgive them for 

c. What you love them for 

d. What you are grateful for about them/the experience 

(note: this is an extension of the Hawaiian practice Ho'oponopono pracitce)  

2. Visualise the person before you. Send forgiveness from your heart to theirs. If the tears come, let them flow.  Did you know tears are UBER HEALING? 

3. Forgive yourself for your participation in whatever the situation may be (visualise yourself before you and offer forgiveness)

Then.

Then...

Then: 


Notice the release in your body as the days and weeks pass. 

Notice what flows in to you. 

Notice what abundance comes to you. (remember abundance can come on myriad ways and not always in the form you might imagine it).

Notice how your relationships improve.

Notice how you lighten up, loosen up. 

Above all, pay attention, be aware. Notice. 


Write your way to better sex, love and abundance,

Katrina


Photo by Marvin Meyer on Unsplash

 

Tears, Typography + Science = Cry to Heal

I've always had what I call 'over-active tear ducts'. I cry when I laugh, when I'm proud, when I find something extremely funny (especially when I'm telling said extremely funny story), when I'm sad, when I'm angry, when I'm frustrated, when I'm tired (and frustrated) .... 


Needless to say, there's been a whole lotta tears fall from these eyes...


I used to categorise them differently. When I cry with deep emotion - those are 'hurty tears'. I mean, my whole face hurts, it gives me a headache, my heart aches.. it's a full body hurt. 

But when I cry with pride there's just water from my eyes like a sprinkler.. 

When I cut an onion that's even less painful than pride..

These categorisations of tears got me researchin' (it's what I do) - Could it be that there are really different types of tears? 


Science says; YES. 

There are three types of tears; 

1. PSYCHIC TEARS - are caused by extreme emotions like happiness and sadness.. 

2. BASAL TEARS - are made to keep your eye nice and wet. ie. lubricated.. we all know dry eyes = itchy eyes

3. REFLEX TEARS - are a response to a stimuli like those onions.. those damn onions....

Psychic tears are my favourite.

Scientists have found that REFLEX TEARS are 98% water. Whereas PSYCHIC TEARS have special health benefits. Not only to Emotional (Psychic) tears contain water they also contain stress hormones which are excreted from the body through crying. (!!) 

Dr William Frey (Ciochemist and 'tear expert' from Minneapolis) found that emotional tears shed these hormones and other toxins which accumulate during stress. Other studies have also suggested that rying stimulates the production of endorphins (you know, those feel-good hormones that also come from exercise) 

Photographer Rose-Lynn Fisher was so interested in tears during a hard time in her life that she took to photographing her tears under a microscopic lense. 

Her work, The Typography of Tears is a testament to human sentiment. Our tears are like snowflakes. Different every time. 

 

Tears of elation at a liminal moment Rose-Lynn Fisher

Redemption. Rose-Lynn Fisher

Visit Rose-Lynn's Website for more images... and full works...

So, now we know that crying is so healing -- when was the last time you healed? 

Write your way,

Katrina

How to LEAN IN to your EMOTIONS

// Feel It //

Lean IN.

We have to feel what’s coming up for us.

We distract ourselves by “doing” in myriad ways;

// social media (raising my hand here!! I’m scrolling for something unknown... because what needs to be made known is within me)

// TV

// surfing

// hiking

// working

//cleaning

// seeking out friends

// generally being busy

// what’s your distraction method of choice ???

But, but, but

When we suppress thoughts or emotions they come back with a vengeance. Scientists have studied this. The results are in. This is Fact.

We have to feel what we’re feeling; allow it time to shine so it can fall away gracefully.

Lean into what you’re feeling.

Explore it.

Feel it.

Then watch as it miraculously dissipates along with its control on you. 
 

So -- here's some tips on leaning in; 
 

1. As you go through out your day, pay attention to what you are feeling and acknowledge. 'I am feeling Angry'. Keep in mind you are a human having an emotion. You do not become your emotion. Eg. I am Angry - as often as you can focus on shifting your thinking away from being an emotion to being a human having an emotion. Note what this shift brings up for you. 

2. Find a comfortable, quiet place where you can be alone and undisturbed, sit with your eyes closed. Focus on your breath. Ask yourself, 'What am I feeling,' allowing whatever comes up to arise - even if it is tears. Begin to label or name what you are feeling. Sit here. With all of these feelings. 

3. Write to your emotions - engage, for example, anger in a discussion on the page. What does Anger need to say? How can you work with Anger? What does Anger need? Promise Anger you'll be a better listener from now on, rather than hiding from it or suppressing it. 

Write your way,

Katrina

 

3 ways to shake a comparisonitis funk

Tackling a bout of COMPARISONITIS? It's alright - we ALL DO IT. 

We all fall victim to the comparison bug from time to time. Often Comparison comes with voices that tell us we don't measure up, we aren't enough as we are. 

"She's doing so well, I'm not." 

"They've got such a beautiful family and they seem so happy but I'm still single and my life is a mess." 

"She's got so much confidence, I wish I could walk into a room like her." 

I'm sure you've got some gems of your own. 
(feel free to head over to the FB group and share yours there)

Next time you're struck by these nasty thoughts - I invite you to take three deep breaths and observe your thoughts. What are they ? What's coming up for you? 

When you get a chance, I invite you explore the meaning behind your Comparisonitis. You know, the part of comparing yourself that is making you feel belittled, ashamed, jealous. 

Explore what that means by asking some of the following questions; 

1. Why am I feeling X? 

2. Is this something that I want to pursue (their lifestyle/health/relationships/whatever has got your knickers twisted)

3. Is this something I actually desire but have been denying myself? If yes, are there ways you can introduce this into your life? 

4. If you have been denying this in your life or your desire -- why? Where did this come from? What was the root cause? Did someone tell you when you were little that artists don't make any money so you stopped painting while studying economics? What's the cause? Is it true? (really true?) 

5. Are you measuring yourself against your own Yardstick? Or are you measuring yourself against someone else's map for life? 

6. Write about and create your own ideals. What do you expect/hope for yourself? Use this to measure yourself against. ALSO - remember not everything in life goes as planned. You may have to revisit and readjust your Ideal as time passes and that's completely OKAY. 

THREE WAYS TO STEP OUT OF A COMPARISON FUNK;

1. GRATITUDE - Nothing shakes a bad mood or lackful thinking like a good old Gratitude rant. Write it, list it, flow it, think it, say it out loud. Acknowledge and appreciate everything that you have in your life. Everything that you ARE. This will always shake you up into thinking about your abundance and sufficiency. 

2. LIST YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS - spend some time reflecting on what you have already achieved - big and small. Again, this will shift you from lack to sufficiency. 

3. WRITE ABOUT YOUR IDEAL. Reaffirm what it is that you want for your life and what you will measure yourself to. 


Write your way, 

Katrina

// image is from Pinterest however I don't know who originally created it // 

Let go of these to FEEL BETTER about yourself...

Got that knot in your chest? Feeling a little (or a lot) meh? You know, mopey, procrastinating, watching series on netflix back to back, feeling stuck, moping around the house... 

You've got a project you want to work on - application to study, a book you want to write, a business you want to start but you can't get yourself together enough to actually start (or continue) the damn thing. 

I guarantee you'll feel BETTER if you quit engaging in the following behaviours;  

1. COMPARING (Yep, Comparisonitis is a bitch and a  sure-fire method to keep you feeling small)
 

2. JUDGING OTHERS (Judging others generally means you don't accept that characteristic or behaviour, or you exhibit the behaviour or characteristic but aren't aware so you project it, or there could be a level of envy or resentment) 

 

3. Listening to the voice of FEAR rather than DISCERNMENT (hint: fear shouts while discernment whispers) 

 

4. Playing the BLAME GAME (you could be avoiding accepting responsibility... among other things) 

 

5. Engaging in VICTIM MENTALITY (what about me???)
 

6. PEOPLE PLEASING -- Get your FREE DOWNLOAD, 3 steps to stop people pleasing by clicking here

 

Becoming more aware of yourself - your thoughts and your behaviours - will enable you to see if you are engaging in these kinds of behaviours... 
 

If you're reading this and identifying these behaviours but you're wondering, how the hell do I shift that? Start by just changing your state. Turn off the TV and on the music - dance, practice yoga, jump around. Take yourself on a walk, a jog or a swim. Get under a cold shower if you have to! 

Pull yourself out of your slump because honey, no one else can do that for you! 
 

“Pull out your pen and paper and remind yourself of who you really are”

— Katrina Hahling

1. Begin with a fountain of GRATITUDE. Acknowledge and appreciate all the good in your life and about yourself. Be specific. Eg. I'm grateful for the hair on my head, my blue eyes that see well, for my healthy body, my legs that walk me everywhere, my body that bends when I practice yoga... and on and on and on.... 

2. Write about everything you have achieved and accomplished so far. 

3. Write out your dreams in positive, active language as though they are a reality NOW. What do you want in all areas of your life? How do you want to feel, who do you want to be, how do you want to spend your time? 

(if you're feeling really down and this is wayyy too far, take it a step back. eg. Instead of staying "I earn millions of dollars" if you currently don't have a job and that seems ridiculous write about how abundant the world is and you know that there are lots of people in the world who were once in your position and now have millions so you can do it too. That you know you have a wealth of abundance within you to create and share)


4.. Write one action you will do today that will take you closer to this dream. One small step. 

Go and do that one thing. Go, now. 

Write your way home, 

Katrina

Photo by rawpixel.com on Unsplash

Australia Day, Two Rivers and YOU

Gobsmackingly  - and to my continued disdain of our education system -  I didn’t learn the truth of our country’s history until I was in my second year of university studying land law.

I learned THE FUNDAMENTAL belief differences that mean our two cultures will always find it difficult to live together.

Here it is: 

The British conquerors believed ( & continue to believe) that the LAND is here for our appropriation and use. 

While Indigenous Australians view/ed country or land as a part of them. They are here to protect earth, to nurture it. They can never own it or lay claim to it. They are caretakers. 

(Did you know they are among some of the earth’s oldest living culture dating back some 60,000 years? Because they lived in tune with country. Sustainably.)

How then, can these two cultures live side by side both thriving when the British arrived and imposed their beliefs, their laws, their ownership onto the land and the existing culture? 
 

Thinking of this duality reminded me that, 'as within, so without.' If there is such big division in our country, there is most certainly big division with ourselves. How can we heal this so we can heal our internal reality? 

My current answer, the same as for the situation in our country, is EDUCATION. Learn.

 

 Learn voraciously and apply the lessons. 

Duality. When part of you wants something and another part is preventing you. When you 'self sabotage' (I did a livestream on this the other day, head to Flow Writer's FB group to find it. 

How can you educate yourself so your two internal rivers can become one? 

Whip out your pen and paper, here are some questions inspired by Teal Swan. 



- What  do both of the voices have to say? Ask one at a time and let it speak

- What needs to be healed/heard/held for each voice? 

- How are both voices working FOR YOU? 

- How can you have both voices working in UNISON for you?

Can you see the wholeness in the duality? Although it's felt like two voices on either side of the fence, all parts of your self are working to preserve you and keep you safe, whole, secure, unharmed. 


Write your way,

Katrina

Photo by Aarón Blanco Tejedor on Unsplash

The SINGLE ONE REASON you're still stuck

I was sitting down this morning writing in my journal and this story came through. A memory. A memory of locking myself in the bathroom for a shower so an ex-boyfriend couldn't come in and join me (I was mad at him). I was writing about this time in my life when I was so down and out, I was so lost. (Why was I living with this guy anyway??)
 

Locked up in this shower of an old Queenslander in Southport, staring at the mould growing on the tail of the shower curtain was my only solitude. See at this point, I shared a room with this guy, a house with three guys, worked a hospitality job and went to university (all highly populated areas).  This was my time to myself and while the steaming hot water dripped over my body I wondered, 'How on earth did I get here?' 

The circumstance of me arriving to live with my boyfriend was a situation in which I had given up room in an apartment on the beach with a good friend so that her brother and his girlfriend could live there. It was a choice I made. A choice I made against my better judgement. A choice I made because, 'I stay with my boyfriend all the time and it's closer to university anyway.' It was a choice I made that betrayed myself but made the situation for everyone else easier. 

But not for me. My life got harder. My boyfriend at the time was playing with trading on the stock market. Which meant he'd be up until two in the morning, waking me up when he came to the room. I had conscientiously packed my back and my clothes for the next day outside the room so when my alarm went off, I would wake in the dark and step outside, so as not to wake him. The same conscientiousness was not afforded me. He would stumble in at two and turn on the light, fumble around and of course, I was awoken. Of course, it took me forever to get back to sleep. Of course, there were plenty of times I slept through my alarm. 

Now, forgive me for being so selfish. The title of this story is about YOU and the one reason  you are stuck in the same place. 

Forgive me, I don't want to bitch about my ex-boyfriend who I am actually on quite good terms  with and who I don't hold any grudges against. 

I simply wanted to illustrate how I made a decision to make other people happy. 

To make other people happy. 

To make OTHER PEOPLE happy. 

At the expense of my own happiness. 

The single one reason you are stuck in the same shitty job, the same shitty relationship, the same shitty financial situation, just the same old rut in general?

Because you are betraying yourself. 

You are making choices to make others happy. 

You are putting others before you. 

You are claiming that 'you don't know what to do' so you listen to others. 

You keep making micro-decisions that prioritise other people over yourself. 

That's what I was doing in that situation. That's how I ended up locked in a shower wondering how I got there. I made micro-decision after micro-decision to please other people, to ensure their happiness, to ensure their comfort. 

If you want to STOP repeating this same mistake? Join me for the Reconnect Journey. 

Check out the details.

Write your way forward, 

Katrina


Photo by Camila Cordeiro on Unsplash

I wanted to shake this girl... An example of how I process

I peeled myself (and my hangover) from the bed today and headed down to the car. Opening the door, I was slammed by a heatwave emanating from the red, rusty old falcon I'm currently driving. Sinking into the seat, sweat forming all over my body, I took myself (and my hangover) to the local cafe. 

Once I was nestled into a booth with a coffee, I was supposed to write a draft for this blog. 

Instead I wrote this poem. 

This poem inspired by a girl at the cafe you infuriated me. 

This poem is what I needed to hear today, along with the reflection afterwards (read on for that). This is how I write. This is how I process: 
 

"I saw this girl at the cafe, she was nice, sweet. 

From her pink backpack to her high (youthful,

questioning?) tone as she squeezed past, 

'Excuse me,' shoulders rolled forward making

herself smaller, smaller. Everything about her 

(this young, sweet, innocent girl of 19)

made me want to THROTTLE HER -  

grab her by the shoulders and 

shake, shake, shake

'Stand up! 

Speak with certainty. 

Own the real estate you stand on. 

You deserve to be here. 

You have worth to share. 

You are valuable. 

You are incredible. 

You are so damn divine and

I wish, I wish, I wish, 

I could slap you into seeing your worth. '

Fuck what anyone else might think. 

Fuck what anyone else might say. 

Fuck what everyone else does. 

Do you. 

Do life, before life does you. 

Forget being pretty. Forget being nice. 

Forget all about sweetness and rubbish of that kind. 

Because you know what, girlfriend? 

You're enough. "

Why did she infuriate me? Why did she cause such a stir in me?  Because that girl triggered (and every girl who is timid, speaks in a questioning tone, every girl who is birdlike, who is hiding and afraid) is a reflection of myself. I know that's what I used to be like.

I was that girl. I am that girl. 

I know there are areas of my life where I am still like this - shy, timid, hiding. The reason it irks me so much? Because I'm not owning that part of myself. So I'm seeing it projected onto others. So how am I going to change this? 

I'm going to do things I'm afraid of. 

I'm going to be grateful for the lessons I learned as a timid young woman. I'm going to be kind, caring and compassionate with myself first so I can extend that to other women.

What are you projecting? Do you notice when you get triggered? What does it mean?

Write it out. 

Write it out and change the path of your life. 

Write it out. Bring it to awareness. Choose change. It's that easy.

Write your way, 

Katrina

// Photo by Naganath Chiluveru on Unsplash // 

I see you

Yeah you, sitting there behind your screen.

I see you and your discomfort.  I see the knot in your chest and the anguish in your empathetic eyes.

I see you and all the decisions that could have gone another way. All of the minute choices you made that lead you further and further away from yourself. 

The minute choices (this hat instead of that, this word instead of that one,  choosing silence over speaking your mind, studying something because it was what your parents wanted...) that took you closer to an image of what you thought others wanted you to be. Closer to an image of 'perfection' Whatever the hell that look likes in  your eyes -- the girl who gets up early, who does her exercise, eats well, agrees with her partner, studies well, does well at school, who has a 'good life' and is a 'good person.' 

I see you. 

I see you dying a slow death from the inside out as those minute choices betray your self in order to please others. As you turn grey inside. 

I see you falling slowly into a world not of your making, except,  you did  make it. 

You made it by submission. 

I know you feel that pain or you wouldn't be reading this. 

But I also see the compassion, the heart, the love, the passion the spark in you. That verve and zest for life that will see you break down the walls you've built for yourself and reassemble them in a way that not only pleases you but makes you shine. The dreams and ideas that fascinated your imagination as a child. 

Right now you don't know where to start, where to go. Busy looking outside of yourself for answers. 

Here's your answer: Your answers are Within. 

You just have to CONNECT. 

Connect and Listen. 

Don't know where to start? Join Flow Writers for LiveStream videos and journaling prompts to help you CONNECT. 

With heart, 

Katrina 

Stop!! When was the last time you did this???

I went for a walk down to the beach yesterday. I'm lucky enough to live two blocks from the beach and there isn't much I love more than salty, sandy, warm summer days! 

Feeling the sun hot on my shoulders and stopping here and there to touch the blossoming frangipani's (which forever remind me of my childhood from their scent to their gnarled branches) I got to thinking. 

Walking always goes hand in hand with thinking doesn't it? 

I got to thinking about how I just bought into everything I was told as a kid. Be good, be nice, don't say that, do this. Get married, do well at school, get good grades, get a good job. You have to buy a property, you are only successful if you make X amount of money. Those people are rich people and we are not like them. Those people are black and they are dirty... 

All kinds of BS! 

And I just bought the lies. I believed for SO LONG that because someone was older than me, they were wiser than me. I believed in authority and I believed if you were a doctor it meant you were a good person, you would have vast amounts of knowledge. 

Well, it all came crashing down when my parents separated when I was 13. I think that's where I first began questioning. 

Questioning everything. Questioning marriage and why we enter into such an agreement? Why we are meant to be monogamous with one person for life when history shows it's not entirely in our nature? Why am I studying something I don't even enjoy? Why is that person more successful than that person when one is rich and unhappy and the other is 'poor' but always has a smile (genuine) on their face? 

When was the last time you questioned? 

When was the last time you pulled yourself up on your thoughts? Is that true? Really? What does it mean? Wher dit hat thought come from? Is it mine? 

Where did that belief come from? Is it even yours? Where did it come from? Do you still choose to believe it now? 

Get our your pen and paper and do some reflection... 

Before you end up living on AUTO PILOT and not a life on your own terms. 

Write your way,

Katrina
 

Got a case of the Not Enoughs? (cultivating worthiness)

Avoidance.

Procrastination. 

Solitary confinement.  

Voices that whisper, 'You haven't done enough' 'You never do enough.' ' You're not smart enough to do this' , 'You're not pretty enough..' 

Sound familiar? 

If the onset of Christmas and the end of the year is sending you into a lil bit of a tailspin... 

Here are four practices I call on when I've got a case of the 'not enoughs' 

1.  CHECK YOUR YARDSTICK

 It's been my experience that the not enoughs can often arise when we check ourselves against the wrong measurements. See, we grow up with ideas about how our lives SHOULD BE and when we don't measure up this to idea we diminish and devalue ourselves. I invite you to challenge the ideas and maps you hold about your life and ensure that you are measuring yourself up to your own standards. One of the easiest ways to do this is to know and get in touch with your values. (I made a great FREE PDF about that you can download it here)

2. ALL THAT IS

The not enoughs stem from focusing on what IS NOT. What hasn't been done, what is incomplete, how you fall short. So, get out your journal and write down everything that you ARE, everything you bring to the table and everything you HAVE achieved/accomplished/finished. This often shifts me out of a funk rather swiftly. 

3. COMPASSIONATE SELF-INQUIRY

The not enoughs are the result of thoughts. Thoughts compile to create beliefs. Get out your journal and inquire....

a. What am I believing here? 

b. What wants or needs attention and acceptance right now? 

Often you'll find there are emotions that need to be held and accepted so you can shift out of the not enoughs. 
 

4. BE OF SERVICE

Often when we're down in the dumps of 'not enough' we are navel gazing. Yep, we're so focused on ourselves that I've found it helps to get out and help others. Not only will you make others feel good there's scientific proof that altruism makes the helper feel better too. 

Now, being of service or helping others, can come in many forms. Get creative! One of my favourites is writing letters of gratitude. 

Write your way,

Katrina

Are you ready to be your own hero?

back in 2009, when I was still a uni student living off sandwiches and cheap wine I took a script writing course. 

The course was based on film scripts and there was quite a lot of discussion about the lack of films (and scripts) with a strong female lead. 

Think about it. Stop for a minute and name a film with a strong female lead.

Around this same time Reece Witherspoon was having the same conversation WITHIN the film industry. Except, no one wanted to have a bar of it. 

So you know what Reece did? 

Reece went and created a film production company in 2012 with a mission to create films with strong female leads. Everyone doubted her. The film industry doubted that there was a market for films centring on women.

Well, Reece's production company has gone  on to create films with a strong female lead that have grossed billions of dollars worldwide (Gone Girl & Wild were the first two made). Stories written by women about women, produced by women and starring women. 

Why is this important for you?

The lesson isn't 'if you want something done, you have to do  it yourself,' but, if that's all you take from this email, that's plenty!

What I wanted to point out is the importance of NARRATIVE in our society. Story is as old as time. Humans have told stories before we could write, before screen and cinema. 

We passed down story to keep the culture alive. We tell stories to teach lessons, to entertain. 

In fact, we are telling ourselves stories every single day. 

I wanted to bring your awareness to YOU. What stories are you telling yourself?
Are you a strong lead in your own story?

What stories are you telling yourself day in and day out? 

Always with heart, 

Katrina

Did you ever have a favourite dress...

  you know... that one dress you just ADORED and wanted to wear allll the time? But of course, it wasn't an every occasion dress so there were only certain times you could wear it. 

But when you did, boy did you love it! You felt comfortable, confident, completely who you want to be.

Then all of sudden, one day, the dress didn't feel right anymore? Like when you were a child and you had grown out of clothes, except, this time your size or weight hadn't changed at all... 

It was something within you that had changed that made the dress feel off. 

So, the dress gets retired and you hit the shops searching for a new one. 

A new dress to match your current head space, to match your current inner world, one that more accurately represents how you feel and how you want to feel. 

Did you ever feel like that? 

Maybe not about a dress about another item of clothing? 

I certainly have. 

I've also recently felt like this in my business. 

There's been a lot of internal change going on in my reality lately and I started to feel like the name The Heart of Journaling was like that dress -- it was time to be retired. 

It's time to step out from behind the camera, from behind names and from behind my hair (yep, I cut my hair off!). 

Sometimes internal changes need to be reflected by external changes. 

You'll soon see everything from emails to my website flicking over to katrinahahling.com and my FB group changing over to Flow Writers --- more on Flow Writing next week! 

The content will still be the same, just getting more streamlined and standing out. 

I hope you'll stay along for the ride! 

I'd also love to hear what changes are happening in your life right now,

Hit reply and let me know...

Always with heart, 

Katrina 

Feeling pain and all your writing efforts aren't working?

So you've been waking up lately feeling, to put it bluntly, shit. 

Not like you're sick or anything just down. 

Depressed. 

Down and out. 

Heavy hearted... 

Unfulfilled. 

You take out your journal, thinking, 'this will help.' 

You scrawl some lines. 

You scrawl some more. 

You try gratitude because you watched a YouTube video once that promised you gratitude would shift your attitude. 

It doesn't work - you still feel like crawling under a rock. 

You get fed up. Chuck the pen down. 

Move to the couch.  

Wanna know why your why your journaling isn't helping? 

It's lacking HONESTY. 

One of the core tenets of successful journaling (when I say successful I mean: it's healing, fulfilling and leaves you with a sense of knowing) is HONESTY. 

If you can't be completely honest, if you are obscuring your language, if you are hiding from yourself, you are DECEIVING YOURSELF. 

Betraying yourself. 

Your journaling won't work. 

It won't heal you, it won't help you. 

No one comes to save you, but you. 

But you gotta show up. You have to be honest. 

I just watched a video by Brene Brown on Vulnerability.  If you aren't being honest in your journal, you aren't being vulnerable. Your putting up walls. 

If you're afraid someone else will read it - hide it. 

If you're afraid someone else will read it - burn it afterwards.

Do what you need to be completely open, honest and vulnerable. 

Or it just won't work. 

With heart, 

Katrina xo
 

Image from: https://theflowmarket.com/collections/english/products/honesty

Please read me...

When I lived in Helsinki I left letters around for people to find. A friend of mine made a mini doco about it. 

Watch below:

Letters have always played a large part in my life. From letters with school friends, to penpals across the world. I write letters when I find conversations difficult. I write letters of thank you. I've held a few "Letter Bombing" events. I just LOVE LETTERS! 

Want to learn how letters can help you heal? 

Let me know!

With heart, 

Katrina 

Focus, change + SPOTS!

I remember the days when I used to look in the mirror and cringe. Another spot! Why?? Why am I thirty years old with the worst skin of my life? Now, there are different levels of bad skin and some people will look at photos of me from this time and disagree that my skin was 'bad'. Although I think you'll find it difficult to find too many photos of me from this time. 

So. I had bad skin for a while.  Spots around my cheeks and jawline that were always white and pussy, or red and sore and often a combo of both. It was embarrassing. I felt ashamed, I tried to hide so people wouldn't see me. It wasn't fun. I'm sure you can relate to this right? Even if you've only ever had ONE spot in your life you KNOW this feeling. 

One day, I decided that was it. I was going to have clear skin damn it! 

Here are the three main steps I took to rid myself of bad skin forever ;

1. I decided. I decided I was going to have good skin once and for all and that was it. 

2. I sought help from an expert. A beautiful woman I know gives facials including micro-dermabrasion. She took loving care of my skin once every three to four weeks. 

3. I told myself I had good skin. I would stand in front of the mirror and tell myself (outloud and in my head) that I had great skin.  I would write in my journal every day about my clear skin in a myriad different ways. 

4. I took daily action. I was never that into cleansing and moisturising my face. Now I do. Every day. Sometimes with fail but hey, we're all human. 

GUESS WHAT? Within two months my skin was clear and it still is. 

Yes, I still get spots from time to time and no I don't still get a monthly facial. 

Hey, I'm human. 

Write this process down and apply it to an area in  YOUR life you want to change. 

A great writing tool to HELP SPEED UP THIS PROCESS is to CAPTURE A MOMENT. Write about a moment in the future when you have lost the weight, got the job, cleared up your skin. Capture that moment in brilliant detail. Where are you? What are you doing? Who are you with? How do you feel (inside and out)? What can you see? What can you smell? Most importantly, enjoy the process. 

Psstt..... the photo of me #nofilter #nomakeup #justme #clearskin #idecided

With heart, 

Katrina

Stuck in the same old thoughts? Read on...

Do you ever find yourself turning the same thoughts around and around in your head? 'Oh I don't know how I'm going to get this job finished by the deadline. If I don't meet the deadline I'll let the team down and myself...Oh I don't know if I'm going to get this job finished by the deadline....' On and on and on... 

Have you ever been stuck in a loop where a certain thought/group of thoughts just doesn't leave for days (or weeks) on end? When it feels like an old record playing and no matter how hard you try, you can't find the STOP button. It just won't stop!

We beautiful humans have anywhere between 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day. According to some researchers, as many as 98 percent of these thoughts are exactly the same as the day before, (how boring?).

If you're stuck in a negative cycle of thoughts it be very, very painful to be in our own heads. 

One of the techniques you can use to WRITE YOUR WAY OUT of these thought cycles... is changing your perspective. You can write about yourself in third person, from another person's perspective or you can narrate the situation. You can write about the situation as though it's a comedy. Anything to shift your perspective on the situation andopen your eyes to more possibilities that you cannot see because you are running the same thoughts over and over. 

If you want to learn how to write from different perspectives, hit the contact button and drop me a line. 

Another practical tip you can utilise - when  you notice yourself thinking that same old thought again, stop yourself, take a deep breath and replace the thought with a newer, positive one. Even if it is just a thought that OPENS MORE POSSIBILITY. eg. Original thought, "I can't do this." to "I've never done this before but I am going to give it my best go." 

With heart, 

Katrina