Why Gabrielle Bernstein wrote a book on judgement
Judgement, judgement, judgement.....
I'd be lying if I said I didn't judge others and myself and so would you.
We all engage in judgemental behaviour. It's a pain-inducing habit that reinforces our separation. Gabrielle Bernstein recently released a book, 'The Judgement Detox' because she saw what Judgement was doing not only to her but to others.
In an interview with Lewis Howes, Gabby speaks about how judgement impacts our lives;
// blocks your power
// blocks your connection to relationship to higher power, to intuition, capacity to attract
// impacts our relationships
// keeps us small
// keeps us stuck in a low vibe
“Judgement comes from the moment of separation.”
Separation from who really are - the oneness, the light, the connectedness. When someone makes you feel inadequate, when someone makes you feel "less than", when you feel different, alone, better than, worse than. All of these are moments of separation that become thoughts that we keep thinking and we develop that separation by thinking over and over again.
"The wound from this separation is something that we run from all our lives," says Bernstein. Judgement is how we run (one of the ways we run, like addiction). Avoid feeling our deep rooted feelings and we use judgement in the same way. Seemingly we feel better for a moment in time.
We project out what we do not want to feel within and that becomes an addictive cycle. Putting it out that we want to feel it and then we unconsciously feel guilty.
Overcoming judgment
As always, in the moment, I advise you to take three deep breaths and observe. Witness the thoughts and processes.
When you have time, ask yourself some questions, get your pen out and analyse;
1.What or whom am I judging?
2. How does it make me feel?
3. Am i justified in that judgement?
4. Is there a situation in your past that has triggered this judgement?
5. Is this true?
6. Can you release this now? What will you need to do in order to release this trigger/feeling/judgement?
7. Who do you need to forgive to let this go?
8. What do you need to let go?
Write your way,
Katrina
Ps. For more information and full process, get your hands on Gabby's book.
How to LEAN IN to your EMOTIONS
// Feel It //
Lean IN.
We have to feel what’s coming up for us.
We distract ourselves by “doing” in myriad ways;
// social media (raising my hand here!! I’m scrolling for something unknown... because what needs to be made known is within me)
// TV
// surfing
// hiking
// working
//cleaning
// seeking out friends
// generally being busy
// what’s your distraction method of choice ???
But, but, but
When we suppress thoughts or emotions they come back with a vengeance. Scientists have studied this. The results are in. This is Fact.
We have to feel what we’re feeling; allow it time to shine so it can fall away gracefully.
Lean into what you’re feeling.
Explore it.
Feel it.
Then watch as it miraculously dissipates along with its control on you.
So -- here's some tips on leaning in;
1. As you go through out your day, pay attention to what you are feeling and acknowledge. 'I am feeling Angry'. Keep in mind you are a human having an emotion. You do not become your emotion. Eg. I am Angry - as often as you can focus on shifting your thinking away from being an emotion to being a human having an emotion. Note what this shift brings up for you.
2. Find a comfortable, quiet place where you can be alone and undisturbed, sit with your eyes closed. Focus on your breath. Ask yourself, 'What am I feeling,' allowing whatever comes up to arise - even if it is tears. Begin to label or name what you are feeling. Sit here. With all of these feelings.
3. Write to your emotions - engage, for example, anger in a discussion on the page. What does Anger need to say? How can you work with Anger? What does Anger need? Promise Anger you'll be a better listener from now on, rather than hiding from it or suppressing it.
Write your way,
Katrina
Let go of these to FEEL BETTER about yourself...
Got that knot in your chest? Feeling a little (or a lot) meh? You know, mopey, procrastinating, watching series on netflix back to back, feeling stuck, moping around the house...
You've got a project you want to work on - application to study, a book you want to write, a business you want to start but you can't get yourself together enough to actually start (or continue) the damn thing.
I guarantee you'll feel BETTER if you quit engaging in the following behaviours;
1. COMPARING (Yep, Comparisonitis is a bitch and a sure-fire method to keep you feeling small)
2. JUDGING OTHERS (Judging others generally means you don't accept that characteristic or behaviour, or you exhibit the behaviour or characteristic but aren't aware so you project it, or there could be a level of envy or resentment)
3. Listening to the voice of FEAR rather than DISCERNMENT (hint: fear shouts while discernment whispers)
4. Playing the BLAME GAME (you could be avoiding accepting responsibility... among other things)
5. Engaging in VICTIM MENTALITY (what about me???)
6. PEOPLE PLEASING -- Get your FREE DOWNLOAD, 3 steps to stop people pleasing by clicking here
Becoming more aware of yourself - your thoughts and your behaviours - will enable you to see if you are engaging in these kinds of behaviours...
If you're reading this and identifying these behaviours but you're wondering, how the hell do I shift that? Start by just changing your state. Turn off the TV and on the music - dance, practice yoga, jump around. Take yourself on a walk, a jog or a swim. Get under a cold shower if you have to!
Pull yourself out of your slump because honey, no one else can do that for you!
“Pull out your pen and paper and remind yourself of who you really are”
1. Begin with a fountain of GRATITUDE. Acknowledge and appreciate all the good in your life and about yourself. Be specific. Eg. I'm grateful for the hair on my head, my blue eyes that see well, for my healthy body, my legs that walk me everywhere, my body that bends when I practice yoga... and on and on and on....
2. Write about everything you have achieved and accomplished so far.
3. Write out your dreams in positive, active language as though they are a reality NOW. What do you want in all areas of your life? How do you want to feel, who do you want to be, how do you want to spend your time?
(if you're feeling really down and this is wayyy too far, take it a step back. eg. Instead of staying "I earn millions of dollars" if you currently don't have a job and that seems ridiculous write about how abundant the world is and you know that there are lots of people in the world who were once in your position and now have millions so you can do it too. That you know you have a wealth of abundance within you to create and share)
4.. Write one action you will do today that will take you closer to this dream. One small step.
Go and do that one thing. Go, now.
Write your way home,
Katrina
Photo by rawpixel.com on Unsplash